Monday, July 6, 2009

Sometimes you are the meat in the sandwich



Mid summer is upon us my fellow romantics, and it's time to let the cool summer evenings wash over and bathe us. I feel that good old-fashioned adolescent anticipation that comes from seeing an exposed shoulder and a breeze up a skirt. God I love you on the train in the halter dress.

Today's topic is derived from a situation in which I currently find myself. A friend of mine, the ultimate female wingman, Banjo, has invited me to visit her in NYC. As a slight enticement to encourage my visit, Banjo mentioned that one of her friends that I met back in college was going to be coming out with us. Apparently, she has recently asked about me and wanted to know my situation because she thought I was the bee's knees. Hmmm. Now I'm not saying anything is anything, but what does one call this situation and how would one handle it? It's not really a blind date (I have met her before, apparently). But it's not really a booty call (I didn't get called). So what the balls is going on?

It's a brokered, away-game, pseudo date, hook-up opportunity. J-lo described it as a "hope n' poke" but I don't think that really represents the mindset going into the situation. It's kind of like a non binding arranged marriage for a night... or maybe even like a trying on a pair of shoes; you can wear them in the store as long as you want, but you don't have to buy them unless you take them outside and get them dirty. It's just like Banjo said, "Yo, I found some kicks you would like. Come give 'em a spin in my apartment". I don't know. It's a weird situation and that's the point of bringing it up here.

More important than what it's called, is what it actually entails. I'm not trying to be Johnny Bigtime but this girl did specifically ask about me after a couple chance meetings 4 years ago! I mean, if that's not reason to go into the situation with some confidence, then I'm more dense than a pro hockey player in a post game interview:


But as good of a situation this may seem its also a little weird. I barely remember the girls I just had drinks with 45 minutes ago. How does this woman have any idea who I am?! Fatal attraction much? What if I get up to her apartment and she has pictures of me, or blood samples, or hair dolls? Don't get me wrong, right now I'm not going to keep the bat on my shoulder if some girl is pitching a softball, but if the ball is going to explode when I hit it then I'm not going to face that pitcher.

Fortunately for you guys my moral compass is shot and I am toeing the line between single and really single. Next weekend, the line may cease to exist. If I wind up in a tub of ice with no kidney, at least I'll know where the culprit lives.

Look for a post later this week. There are some complicated new developments that may require some tact in their composition. Apparently the six of you that read Sing & Mar may have been joined by another handful and I want to make sure I can protect the innocent. But much more is is store. Have a great Monday and let me leave you with a quotation from the movie Public Enemies in which John Dillinger (Johhny Depp) if wooing his new girlfriend who wants to know more about him. Dillinger replies: "I like baseball, movies, good clothes, fast cars... and you. What else you need to know?" Boom, roasted.