Monday, June 22, 2009

Damned if you do...

Thursday night in the city. Clearly it was raining because it has been raining for the last 2 weeks and will continue raining indefinitely. I called up Tandy Gold to grab a drink. TG was single for the week because his misses was away on business. i was happy because he tends to be a better wingman when he is in his faux-single status.

We headed downtown to a little spot called Alfa, a bar trying to be more trendy than it should, with patrons trying a little harder than they should. There were only a few people in the bar and to the left of me was a decent looking, slightly older woman who seemed to be dining alone but waiting for company to join her. (This is the point where I must qualify this post by saying I was kind of drunk during this whole event but, on my honor, this is what actually happened.) TG and I proceeded to get after it, drinking some delicious scotch and eventually doing a bartender-lead scotch tasting. After a guest appearance from two of our friends, the woman next to me rose to leave. I turned to her, smiled my devious little smirk and told her "Have a great night". She turned, focused, and fired back: "Who do you think you are", visibly irritated with my cavalier additude and nonchalant delivery. "I've been sitting here all night, by myself and you didn't turn and talk to me once. What's your problem?" Wow, I say to myself. I was actually a little flustered. But quick to compose myself, I went on the offensive: "You had three different guys come up to you tonight. They all looked like they could have been boyfriends or dates at least. Why should I try to pluck you away from your harem of men?"

Now it was getting more interesting. Getting more exasperated, she dug into me, saying that they were all just her "friends" and that I should have recognized that. apparently, I was an asshole for not shamelessly hitting on a woman at a bar. Yeah, I got chewed out for not bothering a pretty girl at a bar. WTF.

I'm drunk with my buddy, trying to have a good time, and this girl is going to yell at me for not trying to sleep with her. Really!? I don't even have a moral for that story, I just had to share.

In other news, I gave a shout to my friends that are getting married last post, but now I'm going to be in one of the weddings! There will clearly be some upcoming posts about wedding prep, etiquette, and strategy. Real life isn't Wedding Crashers...or is it?

Also, while I'm on random tangents, I have a public service announcement for the ladies out their. Those "gladiator" sandals may have looked OK in Gladiator but you are not Maximus and this is not the bronze age. They look terrible on the whole lot of you. They are not flattering and they make your legs/feet look like pot roast wrapped with twine.

I got more for you fools this week too. Here's a preview:
1. Girls with Boyfriends....
2. Interns
3. Commuter transit