Saturday, May 23, 2009

Catch 22


Recently on a trip to NYC for my Little Bro's graduation, I had the opportunity to catch up with two of my favorite ladies from the good old days at Uni. After a very mediocre dinner (who eats traditional English food?), we head to the nearest bar and the conversation turned to relationships, as it often does. These two ladies are beautiful, motivated, and gainfully employed and they don't have any issue meeting men, but the men they meet never call them back or follow up at all after a date or a liaison. I offered that maybe they were misreading signals but they responded that these guys were staying the night...and then staying to make breakfast the next morning and sticking around all day in an impromptu epic date. I have to say, I'm pretty stumped. I think girls do this too, but last time I checked if you just aren't into a person, or if its just a fleeting one night stand, you don't stick around to make breakfast. Hell you don't even leave a number. This is all kinds of stupid and confusing as balls. My one friend even hooked up with a guy and deliberately left without leaving her number so as not to make it awkward. He took the initiative to Facebook her the next day, but then when she sent him a message, he never responded. WTF.

Riddle me this: What's up with everyone being too cool for school? When did real life become like that scene in Swingers when Vice Vaughn tells his buddy to wait 3 days before calling a girl whose number he just got. If some girl waited 3 days to call me, I would have no idea who she was and that's just the god's honest truth.

No one is that coy. I need everyone to take a deep breath and repeat after me: "I am not Miles Davis. I am not Steve McQueen. I am not that cool." I know cuz you all got some colorful Wayfayer glasses and some ironically situated mustache, you think you're kinda like a big deal, but news flash, Walter Cronkite, your not.

In other relationship news there was a great article in this month's issue of Esquire magazine talking about the death of the promiscuous woman. It got me to thinking, isn't this article kind of right on. I mean, don't get me wrong, read the article and then try to tell me that it doesn't seem a little bit like all of the good women have forsaken sex for other worldly pursuits. I think that the claim is attached to a very specific group of high achieving, intelligent, empowered women but the last time I checked, they all need to get laid from time to time too.

I guess my point is that there is a Catch-22 situation where the good ones keep getting dissed so they stop trying to find organic sexin' and just buy better mechanical alternatives. That being said, ladies need to lighten up a bit. I know it can be frustrating but dealing with you is often more difficult that a trying to teach a color-blind child to solve a Rubik's cube.

On a final note, if you are ever worried for a second if there is still beauty in the world, walk around Bryant Park in NYC for 5 minutes on a warm day and your confidence in the human form will be restored.