Sunday, April 12, 2009

A time for a girlfriend


Over the course of the last few weeks a handful of people near and dear to me have decided to take the next step in their relationships by getting engaged (Jo-Jima!!!!). Other friends have been putting the finishing touches on their wedding plans (Pouch, Vrat). This is fantastic news and even the cynic in me wishes nothing but the best to all of these people in my life. In fact, I have been so moved by the recent influx of romanticism that I was inspired to evaluate some of my own relationship goals.

It's always been a little difficult for me to codify the exactly what I was looking for in a significant other, but after a few days of pondering, I think I figured out a part of the equation. The key isn't to find Noemie Lenoir and profess my love. The real deal breaker isn't who the person is so much as it is when the person is around. Allow me to explain. If you break up the week into times that your really need/want to have the company of a significant other, one could make the case there are a select few times when you actually need that person around.

I want a girlfriend from 11:15 AM-5:00 PM Sundays. Post sleeping in or church, but pre-Sunday night real-life refocus time. Sunday afternoon is the time when people are most likely to do couple stuff. This is brunch time, movie time, hand holding, crossword doing, coffee drinking, and canoodling time. I am dead serious. I know there are other times to the week when it may be nice to have a girlfriend or boyfriend. For instance, try watching Vicky Christina Barcelona and going to bed alone on a Tuesday without being a little unfulfilled. I did it last week...downer.

The bottom line is if you really think it over, you only want a gf/bf on Sunday afternoons. The middle of the week is too packed with real world issues to be coming home to argue over who's show gets watched on Thursday night (30 should win out).

Friday and Saturday are your real-deal relax and chill time. You can get your personal life business done, go out with your friends to have a good time, and not have to worry about texting wifey to tell her you're not exactly going to be coming home that night. You don't really need a gf/bf until Sunday comes a knockin'. That Sunday-Funday period of time is prime time for being booed-up. All of the relationship benefits, none of the relationship grievances.

Resolved.

Now, how does one go about finding a girlfriend committed to 6 hours a week on a Sunday? When I sort that out, I will really be onto something special, but first things first. I need to find Ms. Lenoir and pitch her my idea.

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