Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Prospecticus

Ladies and Gentlemen: I have another tasty treat of a tale from the land of the single which I would like to share. After another long week of doing he legal thing, I decided to play an away game on Saturday night and I snuck up off to Princeton to hang out with a dear friend of mine, Jilly from Philly, and her lovely roommate, Grace Note.
The evening was quiet, but the company was lively at the Triumph brewpub. And as one brew became two and new acquaintances became old friends, Grace Note offered up a tale of a date from her past:

Out with her date for the first time in a one on one setting, GN realized early into the date that her relationship with said boy was going to go about as well as a game of solitaire with no cards. During the date, she noticed a different, better looking boy at the end of the bar. GN waited for her date to leave for the bathroom at which point, the other boy approached. He asked her if she was dating the boring guy she with whom was sitting. She replied something to the effect of, “Not for much longer”. They exchanged numbers before the real date returned and she had already backfilled a prospect for the next date.

Initially, my idea for this post was to use the story of Grace Note, to reinforce my broader theory of women being way scummier than men (in general), but upon further reflection I think that what GN did was commendable (Grimey and ruthless, but commendable). When life hands you lemons we make lemonade and similarly, when life hands you a boring date, we recruit as more interesting (hotter) one. Who wants to sit through a brutal date anyway? As soon as it’s clear there is no spark, know that one isn’t going to just appear out of thin air (See my dates with the Lady Law is you don’t think I hold this policy close to my heart).

Prospects are the key to dating happily. Prospects of people you want to date, prospects of dates to come, and prospects of moving forward in a relationship. All gravy. If a date shows no prospects, it’s just slowing you up from other prospects. Cut and run.


Prospects people. Winter is coming and you are going to need both some quantity and quality in your stable for cold nights. Fall is the time to prepare for the cold, so act like a squirrel and get your nuts locked up for the winter.

On a side note, I wanted to say that I think I’m going to have to recant my mantra of the last post. Dating people in immediately close quarters is potentially disastrous beyond any reconcilable circumstances. Do so at your own risk and do so with the up most caution. The details of my 180 about this issue are immaterial. Just trust, that my eyes were opened to some pitfalls that had previously been undiscovered. Whatever though, if you bounce back, then nothing ever really gets you down.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Everybody's working for the weekend

Dipping the pen in the company ink is a trend that in recent years has come more acceptable in prominent mainstream society. Relaxation from the paranoia of sexual harassment and new ethical strictness in the work place that prevailed during the late eighties and early nineties leading to new flexibility regarding work-place romance.

Themes of work place romance also tie into situations in many pre-professional school programs because of the limited and recycled pool of people roaming about, the intimacy of a close-quarters work environment, and the frequency of post work boozing, boundary smudging, and accidental making out.

First, there some very good reasons to bathe in the pool of colleague flesh.
1. It’s convenient. Never underestimate the impact of proximity. The best option is often the closest option. You can carpool to work, share a cab home, or grab a nooner in the mailroom (Sky rockets in flight, boo-oop, Afternoon delight!)
2. It’s easy. At first, it’s likely you have similar schedules, common acquaintances, common experiences all of which allow you to bond. The first date conversation always has something on which to fall back to if things get awkward.
3. It’s sneaky. Everyone like a little excitement. It’s fun to have co-workers have no idea that you’re not going into Sally’s office for a brief meeting; you’re going to Sally’s office to meet her briefs.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I enjoy mixing it up with the lovely co-ed student to the right of me as much as the next law student, but what if something should go wrong? Is my indiscretion worth the consequences?

Say, something goes down and everyone finds out…
It could be awesome. Result: I’m a champ and all the other people in the office/class are jealous, intrigued, and down for the get down. Or there could be a mishap. Perhaps I had an issue of brevity, virility, or even *gasp (cough) freshness? Could I deal with the sideways glances or the jeers of my peers? Preparation to deal with the consequences would seem to be the key factor in whether or not the situation is a go or a no go, but I say nay to that idea.

Times are tough. The economy is brutal, the election has left our brains mushy and useless, and 90% of the world still hates us ( and the 10% that don’t are lying).
With these surrounding circumstances, it would appear that most of us could use a little pick me up to keep the good vibes flowing. Nothing makes a rainy day better than staying in a warm bed, and nothing makes a warm bed better than sharing it with a warm body…Roll the dice, risk the drama and have that drink with the mailroom guy. Sure she’s just an intern but couldn’t you help her get a little something extra out of this experience. Pad her resume by removing her padded bra.

Damn the man! Worse comes to worst, you get fired and join the ranks of the rest of America. But hey, if you both get fired at least you know you’ll have something to do between interviews.